Q: If you could describe the process of writing Awaken in three words, what words would you use and why?

A: Cathartic; dreamlike; hopeful. A lot of these poems center mental health and recovery, and a lot of the revelations that the speaker(s) have throughout the book initially occur in dream spaces.

Q: Awaken deals with anxiety, depression, and suicide. Why was it important to you to write about these challenging emotions? What do you want readers to take away from these emotions/poems?

A: I am always a proponent of representing mental illness as unflinchingly and accurately as possible, because if we don’t talk about mental illness, it can be harder for people to seek help or talk about what they’re going through. This doesn’t mean that every depiction of mental illness should be positive, because talking about hope and recovery and growth without also showing things at their worst isn’t realistic. I wanted to share my personal experiences with mental illness and how the mentally ill are treated in society, and while those experiences are often bad, they aren’t ALWAYS all bad. I really hope that readers can reflect on their own views toward mental illness, whether it’s their own struggles or how they see other people. I want people to know that things can get bad, but things can get better, too.

Q: Which poem is your favorite and why?

A: I think it would be “molly comes to my birthday party”! This poem immediately became one of my favorites when I first drafted it, because I think it captures the liminality of dreams really well. I especially love the turn that questions whether the dream is even a dream at all. I’m also especially proud of “she looked at me funny” and “once a week.”

Q: Which poem was the most difficult to write and why?

A: Probably “game night.” It’s an elegy for my friend Delaney, who I met during her first year of college. We were in the same friend group and we spent a lot of time hanging out that year; she died less than a year after we met. I wrote this poem three years later, when I was catching up with others from that same friend group. I was thinking about how much could’ve changed in those three years if she was still alive; would we even still be friends? Would we have gotten even closer? Would she be catching up with us now too? I don’t know, but I like to imagine she would still be an important person in my life, because she certainly was for that year. Trying to write an elegy for someone I miss often but also only knew for such a short period of time was really hard. I’m proud of the final poem, and I’m glad I was able to create something so personal in her honor.

Q: Who are your poetic influences?

A: There are so many! Honestly, I draw a lot of inspiration from my friends, because I’m lucky to be surrounded by so many creative people and poets. I’ve also drawn inspiration from Jeffrey Bean and Robert Fanning, who I’m honored to have taken poetry classes with in college. Other poets I’ve been influenced by include Chen Chen, Camonghne Felix, Ocean Vuong, Seamus Heaney, Elizabeth Acevedo, and Natalie Diaz. I also try to read as much poetry as I can from different writers instead of focusing on the same few styles, whether it’s through poems shared on instagram, contemporary poetry anthologies, or Poem-A-Day emails.

Q: I know that you regularly read and review all kinds of books on your instagram, @thepoetjade. If you were to write a book in any genre other than poetry, which genre would you choose and why?

A: I want to write YA! I’ve had several ideas for YA novels throughout the years, but I’m actually currently drafting a lower-YA project. It’s about a high school freshman on her school’s varsity bowling team, and I’m pulling on a lot of experiences from my own varsity bowling days!

Q: Transformation is a major theme in Awaken. What role does transformation play in the larger conversation or focus of the chapbook?

A: Transformation is, in my opinion, the vital theme that weaves this collection together. Sometimes the transformation is in how the speaker interprets something; sometimes the transformation is literal and physical; sometimes the transformation is a change between what happens in dreams and what happens in real life. But the most important piece of this is that the poems don’t stay down; the speakers fight back or adjust their viewpoint or reclaim something that was once taken from them. I hope that as readers make their way through this chapbook, they realize that, like the speakers of the poems, they can be the catalyst for their own transformations, big or small.

Q: There are several dream poems or poems about dreams in Awaken. What is your approach to writing about dreams?

A: I often have weird, vivid dreams, and I try to write down as many details as soon as I wake up. This has led to some fun lines; one of my favorite poems in the collection, “molly comes to my birthday party,” came from me waking up and telling my mom “molly came to my birthday party in my dream.” The poem veered far away from the original dream, but the title and inspiration was still there. I think dreams are such fun liminal spaces, and I love that there aren’t real boundaries in dreams. Things not only don’t make sense, but they aren’t expected to make sense.

Q: What surprised you the most about the editing and/or publishing process?

A: I was most surprised about the time and effort that went into deciding the order of the poems! When I submitted the first draft of the manuscript, I thought I’d compiled the poems in perfect order, but I think we went through four or five re-orderings before we finalized it. Trying to come up with an order that allowed the poems to speak to and feed off each other was much harder than I thought it would be. I’d never considered my poems as a cohesive collection, as opposed to individual publications in journals, so finally trying to connect everything was eye-opening. I’m really happy with the final order Bella helped me solidify!

Q: The final poem in the chapbook is dedicated to the band Stray Kids. Why was it important to  you to include it in the chapbook?

A: As the poem says, I can’t exactly credit Stray Kids with ALL of my happiness or the moments when I stay afloat despite feeling like things are falling apart. However, I found Stray Kids a few years ago during a REALLY rough part of my life, and their music helped me through. When I was watching their videos or listening to their songs, I could forget about my problems for a while. I’m not very quiet about saying that I wouldn’t have made it through that part of my life without Stray Kids. In a poetry collection that is mostly about trying to make it through mental illness, it was important to me to end on a moment of hope; dedicating a poem to the group that still makes me happier than almost anything else just made sense.